Life moves on

It moves on, pretty slow but still fast compared to what I’m used to. It have gone so long time where I have been doing almost nothing, changed sleeping patterns and all strange shit.
Well now it is starting to feel better, and it feels, hmm, nice on some way, but in another way it feels like I panic sometimes.

I got TorrentFlux up and running earlier today, almost crashed the server at one time.
18:21:24 up 96 days, 6:58, 3 users, load average: 17.31, 16.68, 15.83
I quickly noticed it isn’t that healthy for the server to be running 18 BT-clients that are seeding/leeching.

Lost of data really really sucks

Just noticed that I have lost like 20-30Gb pictures, some backup of text files, some web pages and other stuff.
If you ever going to install a new server/computer, check that you get right harddrive.

One of the files missing are the self biography so I got to rewrite it, got it printed out on paper, just got to take the time to do it. Maybe translate it to english while I’m at it.

Starting to get real tired, haven’t slept yet, think I’m going to bed soon tho…

Added old poems

I took some time off the coding and added some poems from 2001/2002. Its been ages since I wrote anything. Thinking of putting up my Selfbiography on Swedish later but I want some pictures for it first and some better layot on it.

Today have been pretty ok day else, except that I have turned the sleep again, got to try and stay up today and get it right. Going to install TorrentFlux on my server and install some bigger harddrives in it.

Well I’m going to eat some food now and hopefully not fall asleep 🙂


Varför ska avstånd spela sådan roll?
Varför kan man inte ge kramar på avstånd?
Kramar som ger så mycket liv?
Liv som gör att man lever och ler.
Utan kramra blir det inget liv med leende.
Utan kramar blir det liv med abstinens och saknad.
Saknad som är jobbig.
Så jobbig att man funderar, funderar på att åka hem.
Hem Fort, och hålla om och krama denna saknade person länge.
Väldigt länge…


What is love?
How do I know if I’m in love
Love, a mistery, an unsolved one
A mistery that don’t have anwsers
Anwsers that I want
Do you have the anwsers?
Could you say what love is?

Is love something in the stomeck
Or is it just something strange and wonderful
The most wonderful thing in the world
Something I want
Something evryone need

Pretty Girl

I don’t like myself
Niether my thoughts, not now
The thoughts that are bad
The thoughts that make me sad
Sadder then ever;
Don’t now why I’m thinking
Could it be because of the pretty girl, that lisstens
The girl who care
Pretty girl: Thank you

Cold Skin

The cold skin is making me small
Smaller then an ant
Smaller then evreything
Evreything without a meaning
No meaning with life
A useless life, A boring life
All because off the cold skin
Th skin that makes me shrink


I’m walking in circles, thinking of one thing…
Does she like me or not?
I think I’ll know the answer –
But I want to hear it –
Hear the words from her mouth.
If she doesn’t like me, she could say so.


Ord kan få en o älska
Ord kan få en att gråta
Hat är ett ord, ett starkt ord
Ett ord för många har inom sig
Ett ord så starkt, att de kan döda
Ord som kan tömma själar,
Tömma själar på livsglädje o energi
Livsgläjde som behövs för att leva
O energin som sakta försvinner dödar
Som död kan inte ord skada


She said she cared
She said she wanted to meet
She said she wanted to talk
It doesn´t feel like that now
I´m angry, hurt, sad twice
I wanted to talk, I thought…
Thought more, then my life fell down
Fell down from the sky, down to the ground
As a heavy stone, with no feelings